Why I've Been So MIA Lately.

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I'm not ready to disclose everything, yet. I'm ready to share some but not all of what's been going on in my life lately. It's something that has been so big in the news right now and I need to share my story.

Trigger warning: I'm talking about sexual abuse in this post. 

Right now, our media headlines have been filled with stories about Brett Kavanaugh and what he did to Dr. Ford. Plus throw in Bill Cosby's sentencing and you have a lengthy amount of triggers for rape survivors. With the #metoo movement and #whyIdidn'treport hashtag, we're seeing more and more women coming forward with what's happened to them. It's empowering to see how many women feel the strength to come forward. It's baffling. It's wonderful though that women are finally getting their voices. In mid July, I got mine.

Mid July, I shared a story with my mom about being sexually abused by a family member when I was growing up. I was humiliated, frightening. I shook the entire time I talked about it. I finally felt comfortable telling my mom as I had stopped talking to said family member. My mom was horrified and disgusted, as you would expect. She encouraged me to go to the police but I wasn't ready yet.

Come August, I was camping with my boyfriend. I was having a nightmare about the family member and what had happened. He had to wake me up so I would stop screaming. That weekend, I finally had the courage to speak to a police officer for closure. A uniformed officer asked me what I needed to speak to an officer about. I yelled it out. He then called in a female officer, stating that women typically prefer to speak to women officers. I remember sitting in the lobby of my local police station, shaking, convinced that it would go nowhere. The officer that I spoke to was amazing. She gave me her cell phone number so I could call her if I ever needed to chat about the case and told me that she would forward my case onto a detective.

A week later, I was in a police station again.

I talked to the detectives and I explained what happened in detail. The interview lasted about an hour. She promised me that she was going to get me justice. Weeks went by and I felt as though nothing was going to happen. I felt as though I hit a wall.

On September 14, I was driving down the road around 9 am. There was a police cruiser that I passed. I just knew in my gut that my family member was in there. At about 5:30 that night, I got the call. He was arrested and confessed to the detective. It felt like I was finally getting justice. He's currently out on bail (he isn't allowed within a certain distance of me as part of his conditions) but I have faith that it will work out in my favour. His first court date is less than a week away.

It's not often that women feel as though they can come forward and they can get justice. My advice is to go. Advocate for yourself, ask to speak to detectives. Get the justice that you deserve. It's overwhelming and scary but it's worth it.

I feel bad for everyone in my life. I feel as though I've been an absent friend and family member because I've been so wrapped up in everything going on with this case. I know it's all going to work out in the end and I know that the important people will stay by my side. I'm so sorry to everyone I've been MIA to, and I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping up with my blog while this is going on. I'm thankful for my mom, my boyfriend and my friends who haven't left my side through this process.

I'm looking forward to getting justice for what's happened to me. It's time for me to heal and come to terms about what happened. I hope that one day I can share some advice about what this moment in my life has taught me.