Dear ex-boyfriend,
I am still in shock
that I’m sitting here, writing this. Three years since our breakup, and I have
so much to say to you.
I met you on the first
day of college. To be honest, I hated
you when I first met you. I thought you were extremely arrogant and full of
yourself. As I got to know you better, I realized that you weren’t as terrible that
I thought you were. Originally, I decided to put you in the friendzone, but
after a while, I realized you’d be good for me. Little did I know, that our
saga would be the messiest relationship and breakup that I would encounter.
I haven’t seen you
since the day that we broke up after a two-year emotional rollercoaster called
our relationship. We had our highs and lows but ultimately, I ended our
relationship because I felt like a twenty year old who needed to find herself.
I needed to figure out what I wanted
in life, who I wanted to love and most importantly, I needed to fall back in
love with myself. You cheated on me the week before our one year anniversary
and I found out two days later. You destroyed me, but I couldn’t end things. I
wasn’t ready to end things. We thought “huh, maybe taking a break” would help.
It didn’t though. I just couldn’t trust you, let alone love you after I found
out that on multiple occasions, you made
the choice that I wasn’t good enough for you.
I know that I can’t pin
the blame on you forever, but I strongly believe that your cheating is what has
made me such a commitment phobe. When I dated Jeff, I had trust issues about
every little thing he did. That’s because you gave me reasons not to trust you. It’s not fair to
anyone else that you’re the reason I
can’t trust another man. Actually, you’re not a man, you’re a boy. A man
wouldn’t have hurt me so many times and made me feel so useless.
I used to know you so
well, I knew you like the back of my hand. Our breakup wasn’t easy, because
there was so much investment. There was so much hurt. I thought you were my
soulmate. However, you were just on a selfish, destructive path and I was the
one standing in your way.
Now, I know you’re set
to get married in the near future to a girl that you knew for only a few months
before proposing. When I found out that you were getting married, it hurt me.
Not that you were getting married and I still loved you. It hurt me because I
was so invested in you and I never got any form of commitment from you.
Instead, I got destroyed.
I’m not one to wish
terrible things on someone. I wish you all the best in your marriage. However,
I hope that you one day realize that your actions will catch up to you. I hope that
your future daughter never has to feel the way that you made me feel. I hope
that your wife never has to feel the pain that you caused me on your
destructive path.
Good luck,
Felicity
Disclaimer: the photo that I included was from pexels.com. Quite often, that is where I get my photos from. They're a fully licensed website, similar to flickr but their photos are way nicer than flickr.
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